As Cheeto always says, this blog is not for all you- IT IS FOR US! And I need to vent a little.
I really wasn't that depressed about turning 30! Just so everyone knows- it was just fun to tease about it. However, I AM so frustrated that I am only 30 and feel like I'm over 60! Most of you know that I have suffered from some mystery chronic pain for the past 4 years. No one can figure out what it is. I got some relief for a few months last year but they are back and possibly worse. I'm so frustrated going to doctor after doctor and getting no answers. I don't know even where to go from here. A small part of me would like to keep searching for some answers but that just means more time and money put into the medical system and with my luck resulting with more problems. (Most of you know what came from my gallbladder surgery- NOTHING GOOD!) When doctors warn you about the low percentages of what "could" happen during a procedure, it always happens to me. The slim chance of something going wrong will with me. I'm jinx! I try so hard to not get into the "WHY ME?" state of thinking! I know so many have it worse than I do, so I rarely complain vocally. I put on a good smile and just keep going for the sake of my kids and husband but secretly cry behind locked doors. It's ridiculous- I KNOW! I believe that this is just the quality of life I'm going to get. I suppose I just need to deal with it and move on... but I'm so sick of hurting 24-7! And to add to the "mystery" pains- I have started getting pancreatic attacks at least 3-4 nights a week since I had Addelyn. I'm just a messed up mess! That's what I feel like- a mess! I am so grateful for a husband that doesn't think that it's all in my head. Even though we don't talk about it too much, he's probably just as frustrated as I am. How could he not be?
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Just needing to vent a little!
Posted by Shena at 7:31 AM
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5 comments:
Oh girl! I am so sorry and you have every right to VENT!!! I pray there will be an answer in the IMMEDIATE future for you.
I'm sorry! That has to be frustrating. I still suffer from hip issues from cheerleading and it bugs me but it is nothing like what is sounds like you are dealing with. How frustrating! Have you tried any "alternative" things like accupunture? I have never tried anything like that but you always hear about people who swear by them. I honestly don't know anything about them so it might be a bit expensive to go that way. Hang in there and vent whenever you need to.
It is nice to know that I am not the only one that vents on my blog. A little venting is always good for you, get it out of your system so you have the strength to push forward. I am sure Cheeto is just as frustrated as you are, men want to protect thier family and watching you helplessly in pain has got to be hard on him. Hang in there and if I can help don't hesitate to call!
First of all...Happy Birthday! You know, we have SEVERAL things in common. I too had mystery pains a few years ago. It was almost unbearable. I had several tests done and it all came back negative, but the drs were leaning towards two different diagnoses. But then after a few months it went away. It sounds like you've had yours for quite awhile. Have you researched the symptoms online? That might help if you find exact symptoms. I really hope you feel better soon!
Found your blog via beck and Jimmy. I am a pediatrician and could not help but empathize with you. It does seem that there are certain patients that always seem to have the worse possible outcome. Any complication that could occur usually occurs with these families. And the kicker is, it is always the super nice families. I call it the job syndrome. I always tell families that are nice and sincere that have a sick baby that they need to cuss us(the medical team) out and be ornery. My best wishes and hope for your speedy recovery. Of a side note there is a recent (5-6 years) discovery for idiopathic pancreatitis presenting in adulthood it is in the spectrum of CFTR gene mutations not sure if any one has thought of this or if it even fits with your clinical picture.
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