For the past 3 months I have been going back and forth about going forth with a surgery that COULD be great if it worked, maybe it wouldnt' do anything, or possibly make things worse and have to live with those side effects as well. It has been a struggle I have been fighting with and praying like crazy about. Every time I knelt down I always left with the same feeling - Faith and doubt can't dwell together. Then when I would study my scriptures I would read Press forth with faith, how can one dwell in fear and still call themselves faithful.
4 weeks ago I went forth and prayed that all would turn out for the good. After two weeks, I had two days of the "same old" pain. Man! He was really testing my faith now! My recovery time is a full 6 weeks of lifting practically nothing, absolutely no exercise and pretty much taking it easy. I have been able to get up and help with the kids more and drive them to the varies places but it has been a struggle to behave and "take it easy". I have lots of time to pray for faith and count my blessings. I had a few days where I didn't want to do anything and could care less what the house looked like or if the girls and I were still in our pj's at 3 o'clock in the afternoon. We all have those day's right? I knew those days had to be few! So I started counting my blessings. And I'm so grateful that the list is long! I am so very grateful for 4 healthy children. I am so thankful for all their patience, love, and help with everything I can't do for them right now. K was so cute this morning. He woke me up with a hug after Cheeto left the bed to get in the shower. Then K says, "Mom, do you feel like you can get us ready for school today? i have really missed you in the morning. I haven't said anything, but you make my lunch better." I said, "oh yeah, why? I thought daddy did a great job." K says, "Mom, he makes us make our lunches every morning. At least you help us with our sandwiches which helps us get it done faster." LOL! Funny boy!
I'm grateful for an incredible husband that has kept our house and family going. He has been my rock, especially when I felt like this was all for nothing. For 2 weeks straight he gave me pain killers every six hours on the dot- night and day. (I tease him that he should have signed a medical prenup. If only he knew what an expensive pain in the butt i was going to be 12 years down the road :) ) I'm extremely grateful for his job and that his employment offers such great insurance.
I'm also eternally grateful for our Savior and the comfort I get just knowing Him and feeling His love. Without that and the church the past few months would have been so much harder than they are already. I know that. Even when I'm having a crappy day and being tested... I know that we will get through this. And whether it helps or not, what is meant to be is meant to be. All things happen for a reason. I will just have to be more patient and take one day at a time.
I was also very grateful that my parents worked it out that my mom could come help for a week. It was so nice having her hear. I was able to rest at home and still be around the kids. It's easy to rest knowing she had everything under control. :) She cleaned and cleaned my house. She didn't have to ask the girls to help her. They were so excited to just be next to her. It didn't matter if she was cleaning, cooking, doing homework, playing games or just telling stories. I seriously slept the afternoon away everyday she was here.
On Sunday morning, Mom had them playing beauty parlor. She washed their hair in the sink- using the hose (that just made the girls giggle more) and then she told them the shampoo was dying their hair pink. So now when I wash their hair they say, "Yay for pink hair!"
1 comments:
You are very blessed.
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